Why Indian Parents Judge their Child on the Basis of Marks?

In most Indian households, the moment a child enters school, marks become a major topic of discussion. Parents compare marks with others, expect full marks in every subject and start judging a child’s capabilities based only on those numbers. This habit becomes a part of life and many children grow up believing that their worth depends only on academic performance. But why Indian parents judge their child on the basis of marks has deeper roots in society, family values and history of the Indian education system.

 

Influence of Society and Relatives

One of the biggest reasons Indian parents judge their children on marks is due to societal pressure. Neighbours, relatives and even distant family members keep a watch on how children in their circle are doing. If a child scores well, parents feel proud. If the marks are low, they feel insulted or embarrassed. Often, the concern is not about the child’s future but about what others will say. This mindset leads to comparison, competition and unnecessary pressure. Parents start judging their child’s potential not by their effort or talent but by the report card, just to stay ahead in social conversations.

 

Historical Mindset and Generational Thinking

The current generation of Indian parents grew up in a system where getting good marks was considered the only way to get a stable job or respectable career. During those days, jobs were limited and academic excellence was seen as the only way out of financial problems. That mindset stayed with them even though the world has changed now. Even today, many parents believe that only good marks lead to good colleges, which lead to good jobs and finally a good life. This belief, passed down from one generation to another, still drives how they see their child’s future.

 

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Fear of Failure in a Competitive System

Indian education is one of the most competitive systems in the world. From board exams to college entrances, every step is filled with cut-throat competition. Parents worry that if their child does not score high, they will miss opportunities. This fear makes them believe that marks are the only thing that matter. Instead of guiding the child and helping them grow in multiple areas, parents focus only on boosting marks. They feel that lower marks mean failure and that leads to judging the child unfairly.

 

Lack of Awareness about Other Talents

Most Indian parents are not exposed to the modern ways of learning or career building. They are not aware of alternate talents or career paths beyond academics. If a child is good at music, sports, writing or art, these are often seen as time-wasting activities. Because parents do not know how these talents can also turn into successful careers, they ignore them and focus only on studies. This limited understanding makes them judge their children purely based on academic results, ignoring other strengths completely.

 

Marks are Easy to Measure

Judging a child based on marks is the easiest thing to do. It is a number on paper and gives a direct way to compare. But skills like creativity, communication, leadership or problem solving do not have fixed scores. Because of this, parents find it difficult to measure and appreciate those qualities. Marks become a shortcut to judge intelligence, hard work and discipline, even though that is not always true. Many intelligent and hardworking children do not score high due to anxiety, lack of interest or different learning styles, but this is often ignored.

 

The Shame and Comparison Game

In India, comparison begins at a very young age. Parents compare their children with neighbours (Sharma Ji ka Ladka or Ladki), cousins and classmates. If one child scores better, others feel less. This comparison culture builds shame and lowers confidence. Parents also fear shame in front of society. If their child scores low, they feel they have failed as parents. To avoid this, they push the child harder and judge them more, hoping that pressure will bring better marks. But in reality, this often leads to more stress and disconnection between parents and children.

 

The Lack of Emotional Support

Instead of understanding why a child scored less, many parents immediately jump to judging. They ask what went wrong, why others did better and start blaming distractions or laziness. Very few take time to understand emotional struggles, mental health issues or even learning difficulties. Children then feel alone and judged, instead of supported. This increases fear, frustration and sometimes even hatred towards studies. Emotional support is more important than academic judgment, but many Indian parents still do not realise this.

 

The Need for Change in Parenting

It is time Indian parents start seeing their children beyond marks. Every child is unique, with their own dreams and strengths. Marks can help, but they do not define the whole future. Parents must focus on building confidence, supporting talents and encouraging curiosity. They need to understand that judging a child based only on marks can damage their self-worth and creativity. A supportive environment brings better results than a judging one.

Parenting is not about chasing marks but about raising a happy and confident child. When children feel accepted and understood, they perform better in life, not just in exams.

 

Final Thoughts

Why Indian parents judge their child on the basis of marks is not just about education, but a deeper reflection of social pressure, lack of awareness and old beliefs. Change is slow but possible. Parents must start talking, listening and understanding their children better. The world is full of opportunities today and marks are just one part of the story. It is time we change the way we define success.